Dieta and Ceremony Prep Journal

 Dieta Day 2:

This is really like day one since yesterday I had the kids and did not have much time for self reflection or to plan/prepare meals. The day went well yesterday - I'd already thoughtfully weened myself off coffee so I didn't have a headache or low energy. The only big difference yesterday was I chose not to watch any tiktok videos or tv and instead spent my time quietly when possible. Meals were mostly eggs and veggies and fruit. I made myself a nice salad for dinner with beans and eggs and oil/lemon/salt seasoning. It was bland but edible - I at half and put the other half in the fridge for later.

Today was my first day with time to myself - I got the kids all packed up in the car early and we did a dump run with some extra trash that couldn't fit in the bin and then vacuumed the car and drove through a car wash to kill time. We got home just in time for Shelly to hop in the car (with the lunches and snacks I'd prepacked the kiddos) and take them out for the day leaving me in a blessedly quiet and clean house. I meditated for about 30 min and then went to the store to get some more fresh foods and had a fruit salad and veggies and hummus when I got home.

Afterwards, I cleaned the upstairs hallway - a task that has been on my list for ages - and took down the hallway twinkle lights that insist on falling down and tripping people constantly. I vacuumed the hall and the stairs and my room and moved Miles' clothes from the stairs to his dresser in his bedroom. Feeling much accomplished, I opened up my bedroom window (the weather was gorgeous today) and fell asleep in the sun. I slept for 4 hours!

When I woke up, I meditated in bed for a little while hoping to give Shelly a chance to move the kids upstairs for bedtime so I could go make dinner. When that didn't happen, I headed down and made dinner anyway and got to say goodnight to them. Without a tv show in my ear while I cook I've noticed I am more willing to engage the kids on Shelly's time with them (because I'm bored!) and I find cooking seems to go much quicker (did it go much quicker because I wasn't distracted by a show or did it just seem to go quicker? I don't know).

I made up a rice sauce I'd daydreamed about in bed earlier:

Two handful cashews

Half a red bell pepper

Half a can coconut milk

Salt/Garlic powder/onion powder

1 egg

Blend until homogeneous (it never did get very smooth but that was what I was going for) and then heat on low until the eggs are cooked adding more of the can of coconut milk to keep the sauce saucy while it cooks. 

The sauce turned out sweet and savory and worked well on white rice. I also had some baked salmon with salt and olive oil.

Things I've noticed: 

I clean/cook more efficiently without a tv show on

A lot of the space in my head is taken up thinking about Shelly

That decoration she put up is still there

I wonder if she'll move her stuff to the top shelf I cleared like we discussed

I wonder if she'll notice how clean the house is and wonder how I do it

Does Jon do this much cleaning, is she starting to regret living a with a man yet?
 

A lot of the space in my head is taken up listing things I need to do some day

Fix the door frame that broke

Replace the carpets

Clean the cabinet under the sink

Clean out the under the stairs storage

Sort through the misc boxes of toys and organize them

Decorate the kids rooms

Get Phil a better bed

Put up curtains in Phil's room

Put up curtains in the garage

Wash the couch cushions

Fix the coat rack by the front door 

I feel more sad and alone without the company of tv

Whenever I get bored my mind flicks to my phone, who can I text? What can I look up? 

Tomorrow I am going to get the things I'll need to be prepared

Long johns or under armor for warmth

White ceremony clothes

Eye Mask

Journal

Water bottle

 

Tonight I'm going to take time to care for my body, shower, shave, paint my nails - I don't usually paint my nails without a tv show on, maybe I'll meditate while the paint dries.